Wednesday, May 18, 2022
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The 5 Levels of Love and The Go-Giver Marriage

When folks go to my web site, MenAlive, you will notice my welcome video, “Confessions of a twice-divorced marriage counselor.” I used to try to cover the truth that I’d been married twice and divorced twice. Who would ever wish to come to see a wedding counselor who was a failure at marriage? However I’ve realized some essential classes since I acquired my grasp’s diploma in 1968 and started my follow. I realized that having a relationship that lasts and will get higher by means of the years is just not a simple factor to attain and going to highschool provides you some expertise, however you continue to have to use them in actual life. I additionally realized that once we are given the proper love map and be taught to comply with it, we will all have the love we’ve hungered for all our lives.

            Once I fell in love in school and we determined to get married, I assumed life was easy and I used to be on the trail to fortunately ever after. Like many women and men, I grew up in a household that didn’t provide a transparent map to attaining success in a relationship. Once I was 5 years previous my dad and mom separated and later divorced. I vowed I might by no means let that occur to me and thought the important thing to fortunately ever after was to search out the appropriate associate. After courting and experimenting by means of my freshman, sophomore, and junior years at U.C. Santa Barbara, I met Lindy in my senior yr. I knew she was the one.

            If I thought of it in any respect, I believed {that a} joyful marriage was a two-stage course of. First, go on a seek for that particular somebody, which concerned, in my case, chasing a variety of fairly women till that magic second when our eyes would meet throughout a crowded room and we’d run into one another’s arms and know, lastly we’d discovered our soulmate. Stage two is easy, although there are at all times a couple of ups and downs. You construct a life collectively, normally together with a couple of stunning youngsters who convey pleasure to your life. Outdated-age is someplace means out sooner or later, however they’re golden years and also you die surrounded by love and dozens of tearful progeny singing your praises as you depart for the after-life.

            Effectively, it didn’t occur that means. Life is rarely that straightforward, predicable, or simple. Following the primary divorce after ten years and two youngsters, I made a decision I used to be able to attempt once more. I discovered that it wasn’t really easy to satisfy an entire lot of potential companions after you permit school, however I lastly discovered her, not throughout a crowded room, however within the baths at Harbin Sizzling Springs. I ought to have been forewarned once I realized she slept with a gun underneath her pillow to guard her from males, however I used to be at a stage of my life the place I confused journey with short-term madness. Our marriage didn’t final lengthy, however I felt fortunate to have gotten out alive.

            Then, I met Carlin on the Aikido dojo in Mill Valley. She was visiting a buddy and he or she appeared like an attention-grabbing individual, however no bells and whistles went off, no fireworks. Apart from I used to be executed with relationships and having one other good buddy appeared significantly better than one other loopy journey searching for a partnership I used to be coming to imagine was as possible as discovering and befriending a unicorn. Our relationship developed extra slowly than the loopy ones and we did fall in love. Carlin could be very actual and we’ve realized quite a bit within the forty-two years we’ve been collectively. We even wrote a guide, The Enlighted Marriage: The 5 Transformative Levels of Relationships and Why the Greatest is Nonetheless to Come.

            The guide incorporates a variety of what now we have realized collectively, but in addition knowledge from a few of the greatest marriage counselors we’ve met through the years, together with those who actually know what actual {couples} want and truly have practiced it in their very own lives. Two folks now we have gotten to know, first by means of their books and later as we grew to become mates, are Harville Hendrix and his spouse Helen LaKelly Hunt.

            They’ve written quite a few best-selling books together with Getting the Love You Need and so they provide fantastic programs on-line in addition to in individual. It was from Harville and Helen that I realized a few new guide that sounded intriguing, The Go-Giver Marriage: A Little Story Concerning the 5 Secrets and techniques of Lasting Love by John David Mann and Ana Gabriel Mann.

“Falling in love is simple,”

Harville and Helen stated in assessment of the guide,

“Staying in love? That’s the tough half.

John and Ana have written a gorgeous tribute to the thrill and challenges of marriage. This can be a guide that {couples} will come again to repeatedly.”

            I’m at all times seeking to join with folks like Harville and Helen who’ve realized not solely the primary stage of falling in love, however learn how to navigate all 5 levels to have a wedding that will get higher by means of time. I used to be certain that whoever they advisable can be well-worth my effort and time. I reached out to John and Ana and I’m so glad I did. We talked for an hour and we might have gone on for days.

            They despatched me their guide and it’s like nothing I’ve ever learn. It’s not a wedding handbook as a lot as it’s magical thriller tour that took me on a journey that made me say, Sure, that is actually what it’s prefer to fall in love after which to be given the secrets and techniques of what it takes to have a love that lasts and will get higher by means of time.

            If you’re in a relationship that’s nice and also you need it to proceed to develop and get higher although time, this guide is for you. If you’re in a relationship that’s OK, however you’d prefer it to be fantastic, you’ll want to learn this guide. If you’re struggling and wish to preserve your relationship from going underneath, don’t wait, get this guide now. If you’re in between relationships and also you don’t wish to get burned once more however wish to have a correct love map for locating the appropriate associate and realizing you’ve the appropriate guides with you on your journey, John and Ana might be there with you.

            I feel you possibly can guess that I’m excessive on John and Ana and their fantastic Go-Giver Marriage. If not one of the above applies to you, or even when some does, it’s possible you’ll wish to give a present for somebody who’s about to get married or a member of the family, maybe a son or a daughter, who you wish to give a present of affection. Please go go to John and Ana at and take a look at their guide and the opposite goodies they’ve to supply.

            Oh, yet another factor. If The Go-Giver sounds acquainted to you, the unique guide was a worldwide bestseller a couple of years again. Written by Bob Burg and John David Mann, The Go-Giver: A Little Story A couple of Highly effective Enterprise Thought was learn by thousands and thousands of women and men world wide. John and Ana advised me that they had been ready years to write down The Go-Giver Marriage and now it’s right here. You would possibly wish to do what I did. I purchased a replica of every.

            In these instances of world disruption and chaos, it’s useful to have some stability in our love lives and our work lives. Sigmund Freud as soon as stated,

“Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.”

I actually imagine that the knowledge contained in these two fantastic books can go a protracted strategy to serving to us in our day-to-day lives. They’ll additionally assist us all result in “the extra stunning world our hearts know is feasible,” as my colleague Charles Eisenstein so superbly places it.

            I at all times take pleasure in listening to from my readers. Your feedback and questions let me know you might be on the market and my weekly articles join with a few of you. Please go to me at



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